The Fact Behind Nigerian Marriage Which No One Told You (A Short Story)

It happen so quick that i have to come up with this post on The Fact Behind Nigerian Marriage Which No One Told You (A Short Story).

As we all know, there is this popular way of life we all grew up to accept as young people growing up in Nigeria, West Africa.

If i may ask, Is it that, boys (male) are supposed to date girls (Female) of their age when they are young but should marry younger girls when they are older? In fact this is a huge question that makes me reason with a double thought.

Thus, your girlfriend today will marry someone older than you, right? And you in turn on the other hand, will marry the girlfriend of some little guy tomorrow, hehehe. And life goes on that way.

Well, marrying your age mate around here (Nigeria) is a marital anomaly perceived by its indigin.

Like one of my ex-girlfriend told me some couple of weeks back, she said and i quote "Jude, the girl you are going to marry is still in JSS 2". At that moment,  it sounds ridiculous to my hearing but definitely it is the Nigerian way.

Down here, the average age gap between couples in Nigeria is about 6 - 7 years. This makes it almost impossible for you to marry your secondary school or university sweetheart you know.

Based on my research, in most developed countries today, the average age gap between couples is probably 2-3 years. So with that rate, a huge percentage of American and European high school and college lovers usually end up in marriage together.

It is possible for an American and an European teenage lovers to end up together because of one simple thing, which is ' Their girls do not see marriage as a means of survival '. They do not sit in their parent's houses after school and wait for a man to come and make them his responsibility. They do not receive random suitors, sometimes strangers as the case may be strangers that they have never even met before, but were recommended by some distant relative, then end up picking one out of the bunch; normally in this case is the highest bider. The one that can "take care of her". Disregarding the fact that there is a boy somewhere she is deeply in love with.

Their girls have goals and they work to achieve them. They get jobs after school, make a career or build their own businesses and strive for financial freedom without a man. They make just as much money as the boys. So they do not need a man to swoop in and save them. They take care of their own financial needs themselves. So at the end of the day, they meet their boyfriends halfway and they build the life they want all together. This is how people are supposed to get married.

Unlike in our case here, where the whole responsibility of making a marriage happen is solely dependent on the guy or man. This is why many Nigerian men today are not ready for marriage until their early or mid thirties. Because the responsibilities on the man are way too much! Oh, and on the other hand,  there is the economy to consider too hehehehe.

The average Nigerian girlfriend has 0% hustle spirit take it or leave it. (Average in this case, because I am not about generalizing). She believes it is the duty of the man alone to make all the money, take care of her and provide for the family and if possible for her own family too hehehe.

Down here in Nigeria, marriage is not just simply a union of two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.

It has become a female hustle.

A means of survival for women.

To some, it's even a poverty alleviation scheme.

A relationship between a whale and a leech.

Nigerian women have over the ages made a career out of marriage without even realizing it.

She wants that fancy lifestyle of actresses she sees on African magic and on the media.

She wants the latest iPhones and Brazilian weaves.

She wants money, cars and houses.

She wants that glamorous fairytale wedding she sees on Bella Naija and a honeymoon in Paris. 

But she is not willing to lift a finger to work for any of it.

She is a woman after all. All she needs to do is get a man. The man will provide the rest.

Because man answereth all her prayers.