Must Find 5 Items in An Ideal Nigerian Woman Starter kit

Must Find 5 Items in An Ideal Nigerian Woman Starter kit

Not too long ago I indulge in a discussion with a female friend of mine and one way or the other the discussion led to Must Find 5 Items in An Ideal Nigerian Woman Starter kit  as the discussion kept going I was able to figure out some point which we both finalized on to be some how true, so I came up with this post which I still titled Must Find 5 Items in An Ideal Nigerian Woman Starter kit, below are them, number 5 will totally surprise you:

1. Marry as a virgin. (this is the second most important mission of your life)

But be a freak in the sheets on your wedding night.

Even though you have never had sex in your entire life, just instinctively know how to do everything right in the bedroom. Figure out every sex move, style, and techniques as the case may be. (Basically, become a Kama Sutra grand master on your wedding night) Or your husband will start looking for another woman. And that would be totally your fault, don't say I didn't tell you.

2. Never let your parents catch you with a boy. Do not look at boys, do not talk to boys, do not think about boys, do not even breathe close to a boy lol. If one of your girlfriends kinda looks like a boy, do not bring her home. Just avoid everything male. But make sure you are married or engaged before you turn 25 years of age.(How you are going to do that, I can't tell you. Just figure it out yourself).

3. Live your whole life in perpetual anticipation for marriage. (Getting married is the most important mission of your life) A husband is the greatest thing any woman can achieve in her life. Forget all your dreams and aspirations. (Look at this one) Just find yourself a man and your life will be complete. (Problem, Hilary Clinton?)

4. Tie wrapper and wear a very big gele on your head whenever you re going out. You have to dress like a descent woman in public. But wear bikinis and bum shorts at home for your husband. If possible, put a stripper pole in your living room and give him a lap dance every chance you get. (Or else do not blame anyone when he starts keeping late nights) hehehe.

5. After God, your husband comes second, You are his property. He literally bought you off your parents, in form of  " Bride Price " You can never be his equal so do not even bother trying. Your place is beneath him, not by his side. Equal rights do not exist here. (We are not oyinbo people abeg) just use your head, my sister.

Credit: Eze Drizz Jude.